I Heart Memphis

I have heard that Memphis is not a good place to live. They say the mayor and council are, at best, inadequate. I'll agree with that. It seems to me that their greatest fear is fear of crime. Close friends have been victims of crime that seem to be rampant in our city, but if they watched the news, and I am sure they don't, they stopped doing that when the news only reported "bad" news, but if they would watch the news they would know crime is increasing at a scary rate everywhere. Is it because we have so many more people in the world today therefore crime is increasing too. You see people commit the crimes, not cities, but people are everywhere. Crime is everywhere. I am scared of crime and pray everyday for my family to be safe. I still love Memphis. Is it because I became an adult here, married, had my wonderful babies here? Maybe so. I don't know why I love it, I just do...call me crazy, I just do.

Time Goes By...Man Does It Ever

If any of you are elderbloggers, Ronni at Time Goes By, is conducting a survey about us. Whe will gather information and publish it in May 2008. I think it would be interesting to see what many of us think. Please check it out. You have to be 50 years old. Yes, if you are 50, you are an elder. here

Preemie Affair

You may think I planned the past two posts, but I promise I did not. Honest.
Cross my heart. We will have a second annual fund raiser benefiting the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. This year we are having an Online Auction at Preemie Affair. Why not stop by and see if there is anything you might like to bid on.

NICU Visitor

I met the little one's mother. When they rolled her into the room, she was so excited to see her little one. She was beaming! We talked some about him, and I asked if she had held him yet. Even though he was three days old, she had not held him. This is not uncommon in the NICU. When my babies were born, I could not wait to get them in my arms. I would have been inconsolable if for some reason I could not have gotten my hands on them. But, her baby was too sick to be held at first, and so was she. When she came in, he had already been fed, and we try not to move them or giggle them too much after a feeding, so they don't spit. Sometimes though you have to think about what is best for everyone, and today she needed to hold her baby. Period. He probably wouldn't spit that teaspoon of milk if we were very gentle with him. Mom, however, would really be helped if she could cradle her baby for a few minutes. When I put him in her arms for the first time, tears rolled down her cheeks. At that moment all was right with the world.

My Day in the NICU

What did I do today? I normally do not write about my work. However, I think some of the things I do everyday would be considered very moving or touching to some people. I have done it so much over the past forty years that I forget this. As I started to think about what to write about, I decided I could speak generally and not about any specific baby. I decided to give it a go. Today, I fed a tiny baby his first feeding. When you think about it, that is a pretty monumental thing for a baby of about two pounds to suck a bottle. The bottle was almost as big as he was. He loved it, even if he was somewhat startled that milk came out, instead of the usual of just sucking his paci. You know how much he drank??? 2ml...yes, not quite a half of a teaspoon. His mama pumped and pumped to get him that milk, and he loved it. He told me by the way he grasped his hands together and curled his little toes. That is not all I did today, but it was the most gratifying. For me and for him.

Regatta

Saturday was the annual Regatta at Maria Montessori School. The school is in Harbor Town on Mud Island. It is a beautiful campus overlooking the water of the marina. They have canoe races and Team Dixon, made up of Brain, Shannon, and Max came in second! Yeah!
It was a beautiful day, made even more special because all of my family was there...Brian, Shan, Max, Kev, Amy, Lily and Forrest. We put our quilt down on the grass and ate grilled hamburgers and hot dogs. The little ones played all the games where everyone is a winner of prizes. They had face painting and Lily and Forrest had their hair painted. There was mighty good music to be listened to while we all lounged on the grass. I was so happy as I lay on the quilt, looking up through the trees, and and !!! seeing Lily and Max in those trees. Wait a minute, how did they get up there??? Those two had so much fun climbing trees and then yelling for meme to get them down.

I enjoy wandering around Max's school. They have gardens where they grow vegetables and herbs, then harvest them and use them in meals. They have a shop where Mr. Fletcher gets their assistance in making different projects. Max even helped build the barn. Yes, they even have a barn. So far, they haven't raised any little animals. Oh, I forgot about the cat that lives there. He wanders around the classroom doing his own thing.

I had so much fun, I can't wait till next year.

Big Daddy's Birthday

My grandson Forrest was named after his great-grandfather. Big Daddy knew this before he died, but he never got to meet the baby Forrest.

Big Daddy was a wonderful man. There are many other attributes I could tell you about Big Daddy, how he was always there for me when my children were small. Even though I was his ex-daughter-in-law, he treated me like a daughter.

I am so glad my children keep his memory alive for their children. Shan and Max took flowers to his grave site on Good Friday. Amy shows the children pictures of him along with stories so they can know him. This last weekend was Big Daddy's birthday. Amy was telling Forrest about it. Sweet little three year old boy that he is, trying to understand life and death, looked at his mother and asked, "Is he going to be alive this year?" Out of the mouths of babes.

A Mother's Good-Bye

I was always a mama's girl. I could not stand to be away from her when I was young. My father died when I was five, and I was very needy for her. We moved in with my grandparents. I knew I loved my grandmother, but, for reasons I did not know then, she just wasn't like my mother. When I hugged my mother, the touch of her skin, her smell, was better. I longed for those hugs. No one else mattered.

When I was little, I never really thought that my mother would ever leave me. I feared it, but would not allow myself to think about it. Then, one day it becomes reality. You know your mother is dying. That day happened when I went to visit my mother in the nursing home. She had Alzheimer's, and I thought we had many more days together. We didn't. She stopped breathing, I rang for the nurses. There was a flurry of activity and before I knew it, she was being wheeled into the ambulance and I did not even say goodbye. I was going to follow the ambulance to the hospital. When the ambulance did not leave immediately, being a nurse, I knew something was wrong. I got out of my car, and ran into the ambulance seeing the paramedics trying to intubate my mother. I stopped in shock, and someone grabbed me, trying to shield me from the scene, but I relive that experience all the time in my mind. I sat on the curb with a paramedic and knew it was not good. I knew already I was losing my mama.

When I got to the Emergency Room, my sons, daughter-in-law, niece and nephew were already there. The doctor came out and said that she was in a deep coma. I could tell more by the tone of his words than the words themselves. My brother and I decided not to put her through any suffering. We were all my her bedside all night. She never woke up. She never moved at all.

When morning came, I thought I noticed fluttering of her eyes. Soon after this, the nurse came in with my son and daughter-in-law. I excitedly told them what I had seen. I leaned by her ear and said "Mother, this is Beverly, if you hear me open your
eyes". She opened her eyes wide, then shut them. I said, "Mother, I love you". She opened her eyes, then shut them. I said, "And, I know you love me". She opened her eyes, then shut them. The nurse then called her by name. My mother did not respond to her. I looked at my son and he gave me a smile affirming what had just happened. My mother had just told me goodbye and that she loved me.

It has been eleven years since my mother died. I miss her still. I love her more.

NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

Thanks to all my blogging friends for supporting the Memphis Tigers.
Way to go team!!!

FINAL FOUR

Hope all my blogging buddies will support the Memphis Tigers tomorrow night!!!

Tricia

Tricia got a new pair of lungs. Nate has posted the entire journey on his blog. I feel like I know them, and love to follow the progress of their premature daughter. I see her pictures and think of all my little babies at work. Prayers are still needed.