Sunday, April 5, 2009

Dreams

Dreams. What are they? I have heard they are windows to your soul. They are problems from your waking moments. They are your wishes. But, what about when they haunt you?

Over my life I have dreamed just about every night. I would have outlandish dreams. Twisting, turning, going from present to past. Fears of trying to save my boys from crawling into an tunnel, I would reach and they would crawl out of my reach. I would miss them, then, there they were again, for me to try and save again and again. I would dream of family past away. Excited that they were really still alive. I dream that the babies that I care for fall off the bed, then I would catch them by their IV lines.

Now I am getting to the age of summing up my life. My dreams, goals, promises I made to myself as a young girl in Paris, Tennessee. One area in my life that I feel I let myself down was the role of wife. After two marriages and two divorces, I have not actualized my goals. This is where the dreams are now. Focusing on my failure as a wife to each of my husbands. My dreams do not play favorites. I dream of my first husband, and I dream of my second husband. They are there...proclaiming they love me. They seem to still want me. I am so happy in my world....of dreams. Then I wake up...now what am I going to do with these dreams?

7 comments:

Judy said...

Hi Beverly, I have lots of dreams, too, and very vivid dreams. They are so vivid that I sometimes wake up and don't know where I am. In my mind I am still in the dream. It has been this way for years. I feel like I have communicated with several people that have passed away through my dreams. It is all very strange! You can quote me on the grandparents thing in the sidebar. Please feel free to take anything from my sidebar at any time.

Kay Dennison said...

I rarely remember my dreams. Sigh.

One Woman's Journey said...

Beverly, I dream but rarely remember them. When I do it is usually something that makes me smile or cry. What in the world does that mean? On marriage - I do not think you and I failed but maybe the other person failed. At least that is my conclusion on myself. But then I would not have my wonderful children if the mistake had not been made.

Darlene said...

Beverly, dreams, according to Jung, are put there by our subconscious and are hard to interpret. Jung advises keeping a dream journal (I did this when taking a college course as an assignment). After some time when you read your dreams you can see a pattern, although each dream may be different.

Jung gave, as an example, a woman who kept dreaming that she was at the bottom of a body of water surrounded by old rusty license plates. She determined that she was angry that her family expected too much from her. I think it's up to each individual to interpret their own dream because we made them happen.

Cloudhands said...

Nice to meet you Beverly,
I love dreaming even when they are really weird, I see them as plots for stories that I will never write. Fantasies that may hold messages I may or may not understand. If I understand them, good for me. If I don't, shame on my imagination. I suspect I'll be back to this blog again to see what you are interested in at the moment.

Wendy said...

I dream, but not as much as I did in my younger years. Dreams are sometimes just the processing of thoughts or events that happened during the day.
I also have dreamed of people who have died. I feel they were trying to tell me something. Sometimes I got the message and other times I could not figure it out.

Don't look at marriage as having failed your husbands. Relationships are mirrors. We learn by what others reflect back to us.
It may just have been time for you to move on, when you left the marriage. If you can't grow in a relationship, it's time to let go.

JeanMac said...

I echo Wendy's thoughts. Maybe sometimes a person marries and it's "just not the right combo".